Ladubba Zaman Ma’aurata

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RAYUWA A KAN MANUFA

Rayuwa ba manufa, rayuwa ce marar ɗanɗano. Matuƙar ma’aurata sun haɗu a kan manufa ɗaya, za su rayu ne a kan wannan manufar, amma in aka yi rashin dace, yadda miji yake kallon al’amura da bambanci da nahiyar da ita take kallo, toh! a nan tushen saɓani yake.

In dai manufa kuwa za ta bambanta, hanyoyin isa ga manufar ma za su bambanta. A wannan yanayi saɓani da cin karo zai dabaibaye zamantakewar aure, saboda ba a kan manufa ɗaya ake tafiya ba.

Duk kammalallen mutum yana samun nasara ne saboda ɗabi’ar tsayuwa a kan manufa. A cikin manufar samar da ɗan Adam za mu iya fahimtar gamammiyar manufar aure.

Hajiya amarya manufarku ta farko ta kasance zaman ibada da neman yardar Allah, ba al’ada ba.

Akwai keɓantacciyar manufar aure nau’ika biyu; Asliyyah; Kiyaye wanzuwar jinsin ɗan Adam. Sai kuma Taba’iyya sauran manufofi da mutum ya ƙudura a ransa, a matsayin manufar da ta motsa shi ya yi aure; haihuwa, kamewa daga sha’awa, biyan buƙatar ɗabi’a, godewa ni’imar Allah da sauransu.

Ma’auratan da suka gina zamantakewar aurensu a kan manufa ingantacciya, sun fi kusa da jin tsoron Allah wajen kulawa da haƙƙoƙin junansu, kuma aure ya fi albarka.

SOYAYYA, AMANA DA KULAWA

Soyayya, amana da kulawa su ne manyan sirrukan ɗorewar zamantakewar ma’aurata, cikin aminci da amintarwa. Alƙur’ani mai girma ya ba mu wasu ƙa’idoji guda uku, assakan, al-mawadda, ar-rahma domin samun ingantacciyar zamantakewar aure mai haifar da kyakkyawar makoma.

Yaren soyayya guda biyar su ne; kyauta, bada lokaci (kulawa), hidimtawa juna, yabawa juna da kuma haɗuwar gangan jiki.

Ummul Mu’uminina Radiyallahu anha tana bayanin yadda fiyayyen halitta salawaatu Rabbiy wa salaamuhu alaihi yake rayuwar soyayya da iyalansa, hatta fita sallah in zai yi, yakan sumbace su domin rayar da ruhin ƙauna.

Tsarkakakkiyar soyayya mai asali tana ƙunshe da kulawa ta musamman, binciken zamani ya tabbatar da cewa kulawa ta musamman da fahimtar juna, su ne mafi girman abin da yake gaggawar mallake zuciyar abokin zama. Akwai mabambantan hanyoyi na nunawa juna soyayya a zamanance

KYAKKYAWAR MU’AMALA

Ma’aurata za su mu’amalanci junansu da mafi kyawun mu’amala “Wa ashiruuhunna bil Ma’aruf “, “Wa lahunna misthlul Laziy alaihinna bil Ma’aruf” su taimaka wa junansu wajen biyayya ga Allah Jalla wa alaa da Manzonsa.

Akwai fuskoki masu yawa da zasu bamu misalai na yadda shugabanmu abin koyinmu sallallahu alaihi wa sallam yake kyakkyawar mu’amala ta ƙoli da iyalansa, ya ba su yalwataccen lokaci, ya nuna musu ƙauna da soyayya, su yi raha, wanka, hira duk tare, ya taya su aikin gida, yana musu gyara cikin sauƙi, hikima da azanci ya kuma nuna kishinsa gare su.

Hajiya amarya ki faranta masa ta kowace fuska, ki girmama shi, ki gabatar da buƙatunsa a kan kowa, ki girmama ra’ayi da karɓar shawararsa a muhallin da ya dace, ki kasance mai nutsuwa da bin komai a tsanaki, tuna masa tsare-tsarensa na rayuwa, ki nemo dubarun kwantar da hankalin his excellency yayin fushi, ɓacin rai ko wata musiba.

Masu hikima sun tattare sirrin samun sa’adar zamantakewar aure a Khamsah Taa’aat da ya kamata a samu zaman tare; at-Tafaahum, at-Tasaamuh, at-Tafaa’ul, at-Tazayyun, at-Tajaddud

TAUSAYI, RAHMA, SAUƘI DA SAUƘAƘAWA

Waɗannan dunƙulallun halaye jigo ne mai ƙarfi da yake rike zaman tare, wanda ake buƙatarsa ga dukkan ɓangarorin biyu, domin wannan jigo yana biyo bayan tsaftatacciyar ƙauna da take zukatan ma’aurata. Annabin rahma sallallahu alaihi wa sallam ya yi gamammiyar wasiyya a kan a riƙe mata da alkhairi cikin kyautatawa a kowanne yanayi na mu’amala da su, kuma a aikace za mu ga gaba ɗayan rayuwarsa tana fassara ludufi da bin zamantakewarsa da su sannu-sannu.

“Istausuu bin nisaa’I khairan fa’innal mar’ata khuliqna min dwala’in a’awaj. Wa inna a’awaju ma fid dala’i a’alaahu”

Imam an-Nawawiy (Allah ya masa rahma) ya ce: “A cikin wannan akwai kira ga laɗɗafawa mata da kyautata musu, haƙuri a kan karkatar ɗabi’arsu da haƙurin juriya a kan raunin hankulansu”

Shaykh AbdulAziz Ibnu Baaz (Allah ya masa rahma) yana cewa: “Wannan umarni ne ga mazaje, iyaye, ‘yan uwa da wasunsu a kan su kyautata mu’amala ga jinsin mata, kada su zalunce su, su ba su haƙƙoƙinsu, sannan su fuskantar da su zuwa alkhairi”19

Ku sani saɓani ɗabi’a ce ta ɗan Adam, duk cikar mutum yana kuskure, duk kamalarsa ta ilmi, addini, wayewa ko fahimtar rayuwa ta mutum ɗan adamtaka tana gitta masa. Idan yadda saɓani ya gitta, al’amura sun rikice, ki gayyato nutsuwa zuciyarki, kar ki  zartar da hukunci yayin fushi, ki tuno 90/10 rules kada ki nemi saki, ba fita yaji, kar ki fasa yi masa ɗa’a, domin daman don Allah kike, kada kuma ki kai ƙararsa wajen iyaye, ki koma ga Allah, ki yi alwalla ki yi sallah raka’a biyu, kiyi addu’o’i a ciki. Sannan daga baya, ki bi matakan da suka dace, Allah ya taimaka ya kuma rufa asiri-

RUFEWA

Kiyaye ladubban zamantakewar aure shi zai bai wa auren armashi da sakamako mafi inganci, wanda wannan sakamakon shi zai sanya al’umma ta zama a kan saiti da ci gaba wanda akasin haka zai jefa al’umma cikin mummunar makoma. Allah Jalla wa alaa ya kiyaye. Dr. Muhammad Sani Umar yana cewa:“Masu miyagun tunani sun ɗago kai, suna aiki dare da rana domin ganin cewa sun rushe ginin wannan al’umma wanda farkon tubalinsa an gina shi ne daga gida.

Idan miji da mata suka samu haɗa kansu bisa turba ta Musulunci, to sai ka samu ‘ya’yansu sun taso cikin kyakkyawar tarbiyya, To amma da zarar aka samu kishiyar haka, wato miji da mata suka gina rayuwa ba a kan turba ba, to lamarin ‘ya’yansu ba zai yi kyau ba”.

Rabbana hab lana min azwaajina wa zurriyyatina qurrata a’ayunin waj’alna lil muttaqina imaama. Wa antal musta’aan wa alaikal balaagh wala haula wala quwwata illa billahil aliyyul azeem. Wa sallallahu wa sallam alaa nabiyyina Muhammad wa aalihi wa sahb ihi ajma’in.

Subhanakallahumma wa  bihamdika asshahadu an laa ilaha illa anta astaghfiruka wa atuubu ilaika.

karanta yadda za ki mayar da gidanki masarautar ki  ko ladubban tarewa a gidan miji ko Muhimmancin Aure a rayuwa domin sauki cekakken littafin ladubban zamantakewar aure danna koren rubutu

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